Unfortunately as this is not part of my lived experience, it is not something I can offer advice on. You have to juggle a concern for safety with a need for intimacy which is a struggle to balance in a D/s dynamic, and not everyone is who they say they are. Being in a long distance relationship is extremely difficult in a BDSM relationship especially. Help! I am in an LDR (long distance relationship)! Attempting to participate in adult BDSM spaces, such as 18+ restricted websites, munches or dungeons, can get not only minors in trouble but the adults as well. While I understand that I cannot prevent minors from participating in kink, I will not facilitate potentially dangerous and or illegal behavior. If you are looking for information about BDSM, please seek age-appropriate resources such as Scarleteen or reading informational books. So if you are under 18, please do not contact me directly. However ANY personal interaction (including participating in livestreams, joining Patreon, messaging me or friending me on social media) is strictly not allowed. That being said, I am happy for people who are under the age of majority, but above the age of consent, to watch my videos on YouTube for educational purposes only. I understand that wanting to participate is really hard, but please wait! I promise you will be happy you waited, and took your teenage years to just learn. I’ve talked about this extensively in several previous livestreams, on social media, and in this entire video. While also leaving lots of room for questions and concerns on their end.Ģ. But the main thing is to not make it an over dramatic confession, and rather approach it as a fun, interesting thing that can benefit both of you and make your relationship stronger. There are many things you can do to lightly bring up the subject. I also have a whole video talking about how to introduce kink to a partner which covers a specific method for approaching this subject. The book, When Someone you Love is Kinky can be helpful. The biggest hurdle is learning to overcome this fear and anxiety, and to trust that your partner wants to know what makes you happy. Some will, but the people who care (and those who would be suited to explore this lifestyle, as it turns out) will listen. That they would judge us, run away, and call us freaks. We are taught to be ashamed, and not talk to our partner about what we need. In the vanilla world, we are taught to shut away our desires, feelings and wants. However there may be a middle ground you can both meet at depending on what you both need and are willing to do. Not everyone can be altruistic in a relationship with something that makes them uncomfortable for a long period of time even if they are initially willing to compromise. Nor can you mold just anyone into being a submissive or slave. Not everyone is cut out to be a Dominant. Know as well that even if you say everything perfectly, you may not be able to engage in your desired lifestyle or activity with your current partner. The biggest thing you can do is talk! Having clear, open communication is the key to having a healthy BDSM relationship of any kind, and is key to helping a vanilla person understand kink. Where to Buy Latex (I don’t keep this one up to date)ġ.BDSM Toy Shop List (I don’t keep this one up to date, see my Complete Resource Guide for a shorter, up-to-date list of my favorites).COMPLETE BDSM EDUCATIONAL RESOURCE GUIDE: Podcasts, YouTubers, Websites and More!.Chances are I have a pretty complete answer somewhere in here, or links to the resources you want at hand. Folks in livestreams - this is your place to start! Kindly CTRL+F and search for your term / question before asking a question.
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